Week 3 Story, Bad Friends




"Bad Friends"; Web Source: WikiMedia

There was a very handsome man who was married to a rich woman, Joacima. His family was not very religious, but Joacima's family was. Joacima was very patient and generous. She had a very spacious home. It was so large that there was even a large garden outside. The garden was a popular meeting place in town. Many people would come over and hang out at the garden. At night, the handsome man loved to take baths. The women who would come over to their home and hang out at their garden thought this guy was hot. He had big biceps and a six-pack (not the soda kind.) He was handsome, and all the girls wanted him. He was married though, so these girls knew they had to keep their distance especially since he was married to a prominent religious woman. There were two girls that were even more particularly invested in the man. These girls were Joacima's best friends. They would hang out all the time with Joacima. Some days they would bake together while other times they would just gossip. Many times they would even come to the garden. While gossiping one day, the best friends said that they thought Joacima's husband was hot and said that she should share. Joacima agreed he was hot with her friend. That's why she married him, and she thought the second aspect of this conversation was a joke and casual. The best friends watched as the handsome man took a shower, and they wanted to hop in the shower as well. They decided to both hop in, and the handsome man was so confused. The best friends threatened to tell Joacima that he forced himself onto them. The handsome man was so angry that they would try to blackmail him. He kept his integrity. He loved Joacima. He ended up screaming for help. Joacima ran down and saw her two best friends. They knew that Joacima was generous, so in utter desperation they begged Joacima to share her man. She was so angry especially that they would not even apologize. Let's just say they would never be friends ever, ever again. The End. 

Authors Note: This story is about Susanna who is a woman in the Bible. She was married to Joacim who had a garden. There were two Elders that came by the garden and lusted over Susanna. They watched Susanna as she showered. They both came into the shower and tried to blackmail her. She ended up keeping her integrity and did not tell anyone what happened. The Elders tried to convince people that Susanna had been seen doing stuff with another man, but her life was saved and they figured out that the Elders were lying and had different stories. 

I switched the genders and made the peeping Tom's (The Elders) a more close relationship, friends. I made Joacima more suspicious of the friends. I also made him call for help which is what confused me about Susanna's story about why she did not call for help even after the Elders tried to blackmail her. 

Bibliography: "The Bible, King James Version"; Source: Librivox

Comments

  1. KatieSeptember 21, 2020 at 11:10 AM

    Hey, Sana!

    I like your adaptation of this biblical story a lot. I think the fact that you made the peeping Toms the main character's best friend adds to the plot, both by making it more unsettling and by complicating the implications of the peepers' actions. It almost makes you question what you would do if you were in Joacima's position.

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  2. Katie HerklotzSeptember 23, 2020 at 4:24 PM

    Hey! I really enjoyed this spin on the biblical story of Susanna. I really liked how you switched the genders of the characters to add a spin. Your story makes me want to read the real story in the bible. It's sad to see people would try take advantage of someone's kindness, but sadly I think that happens a lot.

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  3. GrayceSeptember 25, 2020 at 2:06 PM

    Hi Sana,

    Wow! This was a juicy story. I'm not very familiar with the bible, so I didn't expect this to be a retelling of a biblical story! I like the gender swap that you did, I want to read the other version so I can better understand what changes when you switch genders. My suggestion is to add a bit more to the story. Things seemed to happen quickly. Maybe you could add in some more emotions for the characters, dialogue, or descriptions.

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