Week 5 Story: New Guy
("New Guy"; Web Source: Wikimedia)
"Welcome to our team at Wendy's!" Ms. Boss Lady said.
Hi, I am Ada. I am super excited to work at Wendy's. I love eating hamburgers, so making them should be almost as fun, right?
My first day started, and I had to make a yummy hamburger. I was really excited, and it seemed like a chill job. I was hired with another person, Lilly. Being one of the new people and this being my first ever job, I had never had to take orders from people, but it made sense because they worked here longer than me.
On my 40th day of work, Ms. Boss Lady came up to me. I was really scared she was going to say that I was fired because I keep forgetting to put pickles on the burger.
"You are now Ms Vice-Ms. Boss Lady." said Ms. Boss Lady.
All of a sudden all of my co-workers who have been working at Wendy's for like 5-6 years started taking orders from me, the Ms. I don't know even how to put pickles on a burger. Most people would take my commands, but for some reason Lilly, my co-worker wouldn't. She was kinda salty, so Ms. Boss Lady fired her. She was replaced by Evan who was like a great worker.
Lilly was mad, so she told Evan, the new hire, about how we do hamburger eating contests every week. Evan was so pumped about these.
Evan was like "Yo, bro. Let's have a hamburger eating contest."
I was kinda skeptical because I am the Vice-Ms. Boss lady, but at the same time I love hamburgers. How could I say no?
We had the contest, and he won. Ms. Boss Lady smelled our hamburger breath and fired us both on the spot. That was kinda sad.
Authors Note:
This story is Adam and Eve essentially. It is called Our Father, Adam. I tried to make it a cringe modern twist. Essentially Adam was created and all the angels had to submit to him even though he was new guy in town. He was lifeless until his 40th day. Lilly is supposed to be Lillith who would not submit to his commands. I made Lilly also play the role as Satan in tempting Eve. Evan is Eve who is tempted into doing a hamburger eating contest and getting both him and Ada fired.
Bibliography: Folk-lore of the Holy Land: Moslem, Christian and Jewish by J.E. Hanauer
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Hey, Sana!
ReplyDeleteI think this is a cool modern twist on a classic biblical story. I literally never would have thought to talk about Adam and Eve in the setting of a fast-food restaurant. I didn't understand the 40th-day aspect (because I'd forgotten about that part in the original piece), but reading your author's note explained it, and I think the way you adapted that part in your retelling was creative. I think the gender swaps, too, are a nice touch because they really help to set your story apart from the original! One thing that I think would help make your story flow a bit better is if you used some longer sentences here and there. It seems a little choppy with so many short sentences. All in all, though, I think you showed creativity in your adaptation, and I can't wait to read what you write next, Sana!
Hi Sana!
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely quite the interesting take on this story, I don't think I've ever seen the story of Adam, Lilith and Eve set in the form of a story about a fast food restaurant before!
It might have been good to mention why the two employees joining the hamburger eating contest got them fired though, since it didn't seem explained.
Hey Sana, I thought your story was a pretty interesting take on the classic Biblical story. Sounds like something that could happen in a tv show about a fast food restaurant. Maybe you could try to pitch it. Also, why did going into the eating contest get them fired? Maybe you could put something in about them leaving work to do it and getting caught.
ReplyDeleteHey Sana!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a neat twist to the classical story! I love the language and the story-telling approach that you used. It was all really fitting and made sense with your characters. I also really appreciated your author's note! You did such a great job making this tale your own, and I wasn't very familiar with the version you used for your inspiration, but the note made everything make sense (like it should!).