Week 9 Story: Shake Shake, Shake Shake, Shake It
("Protein Shake;" Web Source: Wikimedia)
There he was. My best friend, Troy. He was everything I had ever wished for. He was handsome with his dark eyes and dark hair. He was well educated. He even was royalty, a prince. I loved him, and he loved me but not in the same way.
I will always remember the day when Tina came into my life. She had lips plumper than a juicy grape. She had legs longer than the neck of a giraffe. Green eyes that you keep looking at like it's a refrigerator. She was what every girl could ever want to be. She was what every guy wanted including my Troy.
I was upset when Troy and Tina started going out. He spent a lot less time hanging out with me. The third month that they started going out things went south according to rumors. Being the crazy person who is in love with Troy, I had to figure out if they were true.
According to the rumors, Tina was doing black magic and trying other intentional ways to get pregnant with Troy's baby. She thought that if she got pregnant, Troy would feel obligated to marry her and she would be royalty. This was crazy. Rumors can oftentimes be false, so I tried to talk to Tina.
"Hey Tina, how is Troy?" I asked harmlessly.
"You can't get Troy back." She responded.
Four and five months passed on and Troy somehow was starting to realize that she was a little crazy despite her being extraordinarily attractive. Troy began to hang out with me more, and I would hang out with both Tina and Troy. Tina did not enjoy my company. She was jealous and wanted to get rid of me. One day she decided to make me a protein shake. I don't need my protein all shaky, so I declined.
"I'm good." I told her as she begged me to try her "delicious" protein shake.
Tina was very nervous and ended up accidentally drinking the protein shake. She tried to poison me. How rude. She ended up having lots of gas. That is all.
I did not marry Troy, but we stayed friends for many more years. As for Tina, I don't know what happened to her.
Authors Note: In the original, the guy was a prince. The woman was nice, but I made that just nice looking and less nice in intentions. I made the story more modernized. The guy and girl were married young and wanted to have a child but could not. Thus, they went to a religious pilgrimage. In my story, I made them undergo the opposite. I changed this story to one where just the girl wanted a child for a specific intention. In the original, the stepmother poisons her own child out of jealousy of her stepchild. I made Tina poison herself out of jealousy.
Bibliography: Japanese Fairy Tales by Yei Theodora Ozaki
Hi Sana,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, one of my favorite aspects about your story was out of all things, you incorporated a protein shake, which I found super funny. Something that I think would complement your story very well would be to include more dialogue that would happen between the characters in the story. For example, the one interaction I read between the narrator and Tina was rather short and there was a large time-skip. Therefore, I think more interaction between them would be good. I look forward to reading more from you!
Hi Sana!
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job modernizing this story! The language and the details (especially the protein shake) are all really fitting. I wish we had a little bit more detail about what happened to the narrator and Troy, just because I got really attached to them and was hoping for a glimpse into their future. Overall, you did a great job and I loved reading this!
Hi Sana! I love how you modernized the story. I love romantic stories, and I thought the changes you made were good too. I think if you added more details and background to the story it would be even better. However, I do see the simplicity of the story without all that which I kind of like. Good job with this story. Keep up the great work! We're almost done!
ReplyDeleteHey Sana,
ReplyDeleteYour stories always crack me up, this one especially! I like the deviations you made from the original story because I think they were creative and made your tale more relatable. I think it's great that you made Tina poison herself accidentally instead of having a step-mother poison her biological child–that seems way too morbid for me. Great job!